Hedge trimming 101

(2007, Ontario, Canada) Recently a patient was rushed into the hospital, needing a surgeon to reattach the tips of his fingers to his left hand. While taking the patient history, it was found that this bright chap got the idea of holding his lawn mower sideways and applying it to his hedge. He was holding the mower deck, trimming the hedge, and things went well until the weight of the mower got to be a bit much. He readjusted his grip on the mower deck, and that was when the blade bit him.

When the reconstructive plastic surgeon was almost finished with the complex job of sewing the patient back together, another patient came in with the same injury! On investigation, it was found that he, too, had been using his mower to trim his hedge. Apparently, he lived near the first patient. He saw his neighbor trimming his hedge with the mower, and thought it was a bright idea.

Often fact is so much weirder than fiction.

Source: Darwin Awards

VIDEO DAY!

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!


What can Brown do for you?


This is mainly audio. This cop takes confiscated marijuana and makes brownies. He then calls 911 because he thinks that he is dead.

Silence is Golden

My name's Brandon. I'm not a cop.

The first thing you should know is that Diesel doesn't play by the rules. I, however, do. Although the reason that Diesel doesn't play by the rules is that he doesn't know most of them. I know many rules and thats why I follow them.

The second thing you should know is that a rule is defined as:
1. A principle or regulation governing conduct, action, procedure, arrangement, etc
2. Control, government, or dominion
3. A prescribed mathematical method for performing a calculation or solving a problem

I would assume that Diesel would mean "A principle or regulation..." because not playing by the control of government doesn't make sense. He could, of course mean that he doesn't follow mathematical rules. He could think that 2+2=3. However, for the sake of this post we will assume that he is talking about principles or regulations, as those are the type of rules that I follow. Now, I'm not saying that I don't think that 2+2=4. I just want you to know that I do follow regulations.

I also mentioned I wasn't a cop. I said this to make sure you didn't think I was a cop after reading Diesels post. He explains that he is a cop and you may have thought that I was a cop after reading his post. I am surely not a cop. Unless, of course, you count the fact that I am in the Mattress Police force. This does not make me a cop as a cop is defined as a person who seeks to regulate a specified behavior, activity, practice, etc. Being in the mattress police does not mean that I regulate a specified behavior, activity or practice. But as I mentioned above I DO follow regulations. The mattress police do nothing more than sit at their computers and type stupid blog posts. A mattress police can be a cop, however this does not mean that by being a mattress police that you are automatically a cop.

The other thing I mentioned is that my name is Brandon. This would be because my parents liked some TV personallity named Brandon and thought that it was a good name. Therefore my name is Brandon.

The reason I told you that Diesel doesn't play by the rules is because this post wouldn't have much meaning without me semi-plagiarizing his work. This, by the way, is not breaking the rules considering that Diesels rules for plagerizing are, "you must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work). " I belive I gave credit where it is due, and that I did not suggest that Diesel endorses my work. Therefore, I am still "playing by the rules."

Anyway, I don't make the rules.

Too many emails?

Here is a little picture showing my Yahoo mail account. Too many emails?

This is also an example of how crappy the spam filter Yahoo has is.

A Blast from the Past

Since Mr. Fabulous did this, so will I. He wrote a post about things he enjoied to play with as a kid. Here is my list:

Creepy Crawlers. The only toy you could bake rubber molds of bugs.

Hot Wheels. Beat that!

Tonka Trucks. The 4-8 year old boy's gift from God.

Plastic Moonbouncer. My brother and I used this so much...

...until we popped it.

AND FINALLY

My First Encyclopedia (Video Game)
Even though I had learned everything I could in that game, I still played this for hours.

Things my Dad Cares About

I have a dad. Yes I know. So do you, and the person reading over your shoulder, and the person you will email after reading this, and the person that will read over their shoulder after you send that email. If they don't, then they used to. However, my dad is special. He has these little things that are almost OCD. Here is a short list of things he obseses over:

• Get out of the house by 8:00 (School days)

This one used to be a problem, but now I drive

• Don't go outside wearing your socks and no shoes

I dunno. He hates dirty socks maybe

• Make sure the Internet works

I'm always messing with the house's network (see last post)

• Don't go to church with wet hair

Don't ask me. I dunno the reasoning for this either

• "What do you think I'm doing? I'm writing a blog post"

All he does in his free time is write blog posts

I don't know why he cares so much about these things. He just does. In fact, the only reason I wrote this, even though I had already posted one today, is because he used one of them today. The one that is only ever directed at me. He said, "...as long as my Internet works."

Also, I never thought of what that person said to me. This is going to bug me all night.

---

Why is the internet always a globe or a cloud? This question bugs me a lot.

Network Troubles

Well it turns out that Mrs. Diesel didn't think I was that funny. Oh well go vote anyway.

The other day I got 2 Linksys routers in the mail. I only needed one, but if you have 2 why not use them?

Oh by the way if you don't understand computer networking, then reading this would be like wasting precious minutes of your life.

Anyway, I decided to hook up these two routers to my house network, which now looks like this:

If anyone else has ever set up a network like this, you would know how hard it is to get 3 routers to get along and let the devices connected to the last one still get internet. Plus the server on the second one is a public server, so I have to mantain security at the same time as allowing the 2 routers access to the internet.

Humph....

-----------------------------------------------------

Someone told me something really confusing today, and I was going to share it here. But now I forgot what it was. Oh well.

Fergie - The Oxy "Moron"

Apparently Fergie, the very popular music artist, is selling her green Hummer 2. That's not all. She is also giving 100% of it away to Global Green USA.

One of Global Green USA's challenges is climate change and another is clean water. Now as far as climate change goes, I'm going to assume that they are trying to rid the world of global warming and that they are not trying to speed up the process.

OK lets recap. Fergie is selling her H2 (which gets 12-16 MPG) and giving it away to Global Green USA (who is trying to "change climate"). Anyone see something wrong with this equation?

---

On another note, I submitted my comment for Diesel's picture comment contest. Go over there and submit a comment, and then on Tuesday, go and vote for mine when his wife picks one of mine. :-)

Fast Computer

I was recently looking for new hard drives on eBay. I wasn't really considering hard drives, but I thought I might want to try out the new SATA.

Anyway, I came across this hard drive. I was reading the specifications on it when I came across the warrenty label.

Now look at the caution. It states "Product warranty is void if... the drive experiences shock in excess of 350 Gs." Now tell me, how many times have you made your computer go 350 Gs? Seagate must have had a problem with NASA returning hard drives after making them go too fast. Thats the only logical explaination for setting a G-Force limit on your hard drive, right?

Whatever.

You may have noticed the ClickComments thing at the bottom of my page. That is for people who don't have the time to comment. They just click why they liked/disliked the post. So you lazy people, you can now comment with only one click!

Do not read while sleeping

As I promised, here is a list of stupid labels:

Sears hairdryer
Do not use while sleeping

Dial soap
Directions: Use like regular soap

Fritos bag
You could be a winner. No purchase nessasary. Details inside.

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert
Printed on the bottom: Do not turn upside down

Mark and Spencers bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating

Nytol sleep aid
Product may cause drowsiness

Korean kitchen knife
Keep out of children

Japanese food processor
Not to be used for the other use

Sweedish chainsaw
Do not stop chain with hands or genitals

Superman costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly

AND NOW THE WINNER OF THE VIRTUAL SNICKERS BAR...



NOBODY!

Nobody seemed to have an answer. My dad told me what it was, but he cheated to get the answer. Rick thought I was talking about the title of the blog and not the title of the last post. So oh well. I guess I will virtually eat the virtual Snickers bar myself.

Where do you want to go today?

Well its been a while since I lasted posted. Well whatever.

First up, I am giving away virtual candy to whoever can tell me where the title of this post came from. First to guess gets a virtual king sized Snickers bar.

Anyway now to the point. I checking up on some of my GeoCaches when I came across a map of everywhere this one user had been "caching." There was this link to a website that allows you to make maps of every state you have ever visited. It shows a map of the United States and highlights, in red, all of the states you have visited. Here is my map:



This guy had just used the "visited states" map as a "states I've cached in" map.

On this website you can also create maps of countries you have visited. Sadly, mine just looks like this:



Canadian providences also:



And finally European countries. I can not post a map of this because it does not allow you to chose nothing.

The link to this website is www.world66.com/myworld66


In my next post I will give a list of funny/stupid labels, and announce the winner of the virtual Snickers bar.

Wii

I found this new program on the internet. It allows you to connect your Wii controller to the computer. It also allows you to download all of the Miis on it.

Using the website http://www.miieditor.com/ I was able to save a picture of me that I made on my Wii. I also made Jesus and got a picture for him.

I think I'm a pretty good artist.


With a program called GlovePIE I was able to use my Wiimote as a joystick on my computer.

There are a lot of programs out there for your computer and your Wiimote. Here is a simple guide to getting started.

Update

UPDATE ON SATURDAYS POST!

I recieved a comment from the CEO of Overstock.com. He assured me that they were not responsible for this and that e-mail address can be easily "spoofed" or faked. I am posting this update as so that no one takes Saturday's post seriously.

Thank you for reading.

Overstock a phising site?

I recently got a very scary email. It said that I had purchased ladies Gucci glasses off of eBay and asked for me to pay. Well I had heard of phishing e-mails before, so I went on ebay.com (without clicking any links in the email) and checked my account. And what do you know, I DIDN'T BUY ANY GLASSES!

So I reported the email to eBay. They sent back the confirmation letter saying that they didn't send me the email.

I decided to do a little further research. The email said it was from emmajayne1981. The item number was valid on eBay (as Gucci glasses too) but I wasn't the winning bidder. I looked a little deeper into the email. I found the real email address as 834588375021345.009.2055.46986.1@obay.com .

oBay.com. That's actually kinda clever.

Normally you can't get an email unless you have an affiliation with that company or you purchased or registered for an email through that site. So I typed obay.com into Internet Explorer and found something wierd. Overstock.com's website. Overstock is a competitor of eBay.

Now I couldn't prove that Overstock owned this website just yet. This could have been fake, just like that email. I headed over to Network Solution's website. If you type in a websites address it will tell you everything about it, including who owns it. Turns out that Overstock really does own it.

This seemed kinda wierd so I searched oBay on Yahoo!. I found a news article saying that Overstock orignally was going to be called Obay putting a big emphisis on the O. They bought the site domain but couldn't call themselves Obay. This is a copywright infrigement on eBay's name. So they kept the domain but changed the name of their site.

Now my question is, since this email came from an Obay domain, does that mean that Overstock is phishing eBay customers?

I'll leave it to you to think about.

Things to Ponder II

Two weeks ago, I gave a list of things to ponder. Here is a sequal to the first one:

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their picket signs?

How can there be self-help groups?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

Can a man in a wheel chair really follow in someone's footsteps?

Do dyslexics have more fnu?

If a child curses in sign language does their mother wash their hands with soap?

Is there another word for synonym?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why are there handicapped parking spaces outside of an iceskating rink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why do banks leave both doors open, and chain their pens to the desks?

What happens when you are scared half to death twice?

If Barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Why do people honk for peace?

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

What is the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Reader submitted ones:
If you put spot remover on your dog, will it disappear?

Why do we say a drain must be opened up because it is stopped up?

Got anything else to add? Put them in the comments.

I love my job

Found these funny cartoons over at Savage Chickens. Totally funny. This guy writes a new comic on a sticky note every day.

Wii Release

If you remember or you go back through the posts then you will see that I was one of those crazy people who waited outside for a Nintendo Wii. Wanna know what happened, then read on. If not, don't read on.

On Saturday at about 8:30am I woke up. I had been talking non-stop about the Nintendo Wii for days before and was excited to get one. I had decided that if I got there by noon that I would still have time to get in line.

I took a shower and got ready for the day. My dad had said that he had heard of people staying overnight in some cities, so he suggested that I go and check out my compitition. I packed a bag full of supplies for the day. Grabbed all the warmest gear I could find. Found a sleeping bag (not to sleep in of course).

We headed over to Wal-Mart (yes I know, noone likes Wal-Mart. I just heard that they have the most in stock) at about 9:00. When I got there, 3 people were already in line. I decided to stay and wait out the day. I soon found out the 2nd person in line was someone I knew.

Pretty much the whole day went like this:
We sat.
Then we sat.
Then we sat somemore.
(Can't lose your spot in line now)
But we still found stuff to do once in a while.

At about 10:00 (1 hour after I got there) some people started showing up. By noon the whole line was full (boy was I glad that I didn't wait until 12:00). My dad came by once in a while to see if I wanted food or more clothes. A bunch of people in line had Nintendo DS systems, so we all played a few rounds of Starfox via NiFi (Nintendo wireless).

I called home and asked if my brother wanted to come over for a while. He could skateboard in the parking lot. We traded spots a few times so I could stand up once-in-a-while. My friends Josh and Chuckie came over at about 6:00pm. They saved my spot as I went inside to use the restrooms and play the Guitar Hero 2 demo. Chuckie had to leave about an hour later, but Josh stayed until the end. My family left and it got dark. Josh and I hung out until 11:00pm, one hour before I could buy the Wii. At 11:00 my dad came back and waited the remaining hour. About this time, people started selling there spot in line for more than $50 USD.

At midnight the store manager came out and told us to line up. Only those who were in line for a Wii were to get in the new line. He walked down the row and handed us each a ticket with a number on it. Mine said "4" because I was 4th in line. He walked us through the store in a single file line. We walked up to the layaway department where all the Wii products were. Everyone checked out, one at a time, number 1 going first and number 20 last. After I bought my Wii system and 1 extra controller, I headed off to GameStop.

I had reserved "Legend of Zelda" a few months before. I walked up to a guy at the door and showed him my reciept. He opened the door (I got to skip the line) and I walked in. The guy at the counter handed me the game, and I finally got to go home.

Josh and I stayed up for a few more hours playing Wii Sports and then went to bed.

I have to say, I love the Wii. Buy one today if you can. (This is not an ad) :)

Things to Ponder

Here are some things that may never have answers:
If a chicken had lips, could it whistle?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Why do the drive-up ATMs have braile on them?

If Walmart is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

Why do you say that you're going to "take" a dump, when you leave something behind.

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Are there interstates in Hawaii or Alaska?

If you're in a car that can go the speed of light, what would happen if you turned on the headlights?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do we call it a hamburger when it is made from beef?

If 'pro' is the opposite to 'con', is Congress the opposite to progress?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Whose idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp'?

Can you cry under water?

If you have to put "your two cents in" but it's only "a penny for your thoughts," Where does the extra penny go?

Why do people say they "slept like a baby," when a baby wakes up about every 2 hours?


If you have more thing to ponder please add them as comments.

Things I Hate About the Internet

First up, the webpage everyone has seen at least once. This happens when you click on a link that goes nowhere.


Secondly, the stupid little "x" where a picture should be. You can see this in the post below because the people who I linked that picture to, got jealous and took it off their website so I couldn't have it on mine.

O.K. This is a little personal pet peeve of mine. Microsoft thinks it needs to own everything electronic. So, they put up their own search engine that really sucks.

I think we can all agree that long loading websites should die.

Even worse, long downloads.

(Yes I edited this picture)

O.K. Who really cares if they are going on to a more secure website. Last time I checked, security = good.


I'm glad that it tells me that I'm leaving a secure website. The annoying part is that no matter how many times you check that box, this stupid security alert always comes back.

Whats the point! You have to sign up for 18 offers after you hit 18 targets to get your $50 gift card.

Finally, Geocities is great for people who want to make a family webpage, but don't know how. The bad part about Geocities is that people try to put informative pages up, but end up putting completly false information. If your going to use Geocities, stick with a family page.

So now you know about almost everything I dislike when it comes to the internet. Congratulations.

Competitive Advertising

UPDATE: I left this one up for the following post. I also reposted the same picture so that all of you could see this post.

Which way?

I thought these two could go together.

Free Cat

Who wants a free cat?

Making New Stuff

Recently I've been making new stuff. I like to share what I make so here are the links.

Computer Controlled Radio Transmitter
Easy to Make AM Radio Transmitter

Bad Dog

Bad Dog!

Happy New Year

Hey everyone. Happy New Year. Just thought I'd show how other websites celebrated the New Year.

Google:

I like Google's 2007 in the fireworks.

Yahoo:

At first I didn't understand how Yahoo was trying to show the spirit of New Years. They used this little picture:

But then that picture changed into this:

And then I understood.

Nintendo:

Nintendo did this:

(I don't care what you say. I think it has the spirit of New Year)

YouTube:

So is YouTube celebrating or is Chevrolet?


JibJab:
JibJab made a new movie:



FirstGov:
The United States offical website, FirstGov.gov did nothing to celebrate the New Year. They did not even say Happy New Year.
However the IRS did give us this little bit of New Year info:

FormatCDrive:
Here's what I did. I changed the look of my blog, and oh ya, I posted the first new post since November 26.
So, HAPPY NEW YEAR!